Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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