Just cropdusted the office
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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