Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
