I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this boner is exhausting
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
