i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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