If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I believe in your delicious
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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