Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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