I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
