My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
