Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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