I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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