Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How external is "for external use only"?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
