fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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