Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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