did you get engaged???
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
