yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
