im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
