I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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