people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
