these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
