Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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