I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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