My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
