he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
