This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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