I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
