I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
