i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
