I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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