Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize