im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
