good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
