Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i need some magic done to my vagina
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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