He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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