Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
