Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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