So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize