my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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