omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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