I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
