a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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