no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
