from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
