She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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