I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Watching her eat just hurts me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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