and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
