just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize