I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
