..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize