i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize