The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
