Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
