we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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