I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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