My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
