What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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