from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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