My first STD was from a foam party
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
