He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
